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today's the beginning of the end

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TOP TEN EXCUSES SHOULD HILLARY CLINTON PLACE THIRD IN THE IOWA CAUCUS

It's still up in the air, and I think eventually Clinton will get the nomination, but I thought it'd be fun to predict what Sen. Clinton's handlers will spin should she not place in the top two in the Iowa caucus.

Here's what I came up with:

10. Post holiday party upsurge after release of new Elvis dvds.

9. Claim that she did way better than expected.

8. Thursday is Ladies Night in local bars.

7. Revenge of diner crowd after Hillary upchucks at sight of turkey neck stew.

6. Last minute attack ad featuring previously unknown clip of the late Tammy Wynette trashing Bill and Hillary sways Clinton's C & W vote.

5. Epidemic of chapped lips spreads throughout state caused by shortage of vaseline used to coat camera lens photographing the Clintons.

4. New findings blame "environmentally safe" mercury-filled fluorescent light-bulbs for confusion and pre-dementia brought on by brain loss.

3. People confused by typo on new campaign billboards saying, "From each according to need; to each according to ability." Huh?

2. Her last live statewide speech ends with, "I love you Illinois!"

1. Global warming. It's cold out there!

Out there? Hey, it's snowing in Datona Beach, Florida! Which reminds me - I was awakened this morning by a polar bear outside my window ... coughing! ;-)

Oh, and let's not even go near Clinton's teenage babysitter problems. I wonder whose idea that was? Oh, dear!

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When nights are cold and lonely
Stand by your man
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man


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