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BUT SOMETIMES 36% WILL DO JUST FINE


With my friend tniassaint on the road again, I didn’t have the pleasure to swap shots with him over the Florida primaries. I thought I’d post some thoughts so that he’d read them and feel better about the upcoming elections. I doubt that he’s a John McCain fan, but I’m sure the prospect of two liberals facing off for the presidency must have him feeling at least a little warmer in icy Iowa.

I say that because, thanks to the independent vote (17% of the Florida "Republican" vote), the elderly vote, and the Latin vote, all contributing heavily to John McCain’s 36% vote total in the "winner-take-all" Republican Primary, it's a strong bet that he’ll be the Republican nominee against Hillary Clinton. Yes, I still think the ruthless Clinton machine, along with single white women, large delegate states, and a few skeletons in Mr. Obama’s closet will help to steamroll the junior Senator. And I say McCain providing Mike Huckabee and Ron Paul stay in to take away votes from Romney.

Perhaps I should just give up and throw in the towel. In an election where most people only know what they see in a few “mainstream media” headlines, where the media does everything it can to push their agenda and only tell the story they want to tell, there’s little return in trying to discuss issues rationally. In a campaign where some candidates’ records are igmored amd their former statements hidden, where what candidates say to pander to the special interest groups is taken as gospel, and where voters vote according to sex, race, reputation, looks, promises, and personality, well - why even bother?

And after all, what’s the worse that could happen with either "the Clintons" or a “shoot from the hip” McCain in the White House?

Sure, the borders will finally be thrown wide open, but maybe we do need an influx of another 50 million immigrants in the country. Like McCain has said, someone has to pick the lettuce, and have you seen the price of lettuce lately? Hillary wants to make it easier for immigrants with AIDS and other communicable diseases to enter the country, but with the number of abortions dropping, something must be done to put more doctors to work.

With free health care for all, it will probably be difficult to get appointments and waiting lists for surgeries, tests, and treatments will get longer and longer (I heard the waiting list for baby deliveries in Canada is 10 months - that's a joke), but the government could solve that by taxing pregnancies and giving tax-free bonuses to any woman who gets an abortion. With all the immigrants pouring in, most of whom don't believe in abortion, who needs more babies anyway?

Think of how much we would save in the SCHIPs program. (No, don't worry about all those immigrant babies. You're not supposed to think logically here.) Okay. yes, I know, it seems that would cause another strain on diminishing medical facilities as health care workers abandon their jobs due to overwork and underpay, but couldn’t we outsource many procedures to third world countries where procedures could be performed for a fraction of what U.S. hospitals now charge?

We would be subsidizing their economies, as well as creating a boom in the travel and vacation industry, making friends all over the world. Who'll pay? Why, the rich of course! At least the ones who don't work for the government.

Don’t worry about all those expectant mothers and vacationers (recovery time would be paid too) creating yet another giant carbon footprint either. McCain and Hillary both back carbon taxing, and the money they’d collect from the airlines, the meat-eaters, oil companies, big corporations, and everyone else in the country who barbecues and exhales CO2, would go toward subsidizing new “Green” industries and environmentally friendly products.

Since they and their elitist friends would be vested in these new industries, and you’d have no choice but to use their products and to follow federal guidelines, they’d be assured of success and would create a financial goldmine for them and their families. Man-made global warming? Okay, they knew it was a crock, but now that they've forced everyone (except China, India, Russia, the Third World, Al Gore, and the rest of the global elites) to live according to their religion, aren't we much better off? Don't you feel better? No? Can't sleep? Oh well, have an Ambien. It's free!

Hey, now that I think of it, I don’t have any kids, so even though trillions of dollars will be spent on providing grift for the grifters, I might as well get in line too. As long as I get the same freebies, maybe I should just let everyone else's kids and grandkids worry about the bill. The jihadhists are going to blow up the world one day soon anyway.

Free speech would be severely curtailed but, look - to be honest, the more you know the more agitated you become. Right? Wouldn’t you just rather not know anything at all? Ignorance is indeed bliss, and who is listening anyway? Isn’t it better to just ignore the facts and have as much fun as you can? Whenever anyone points out what politicians and elitists say and do, they just accuse them of personal attacks. Depending on who says what, the pundits spin and twist the facts, and the mainstream media, which is too busy reporting on yet another celebrity overdose and/or trip to the emergency ward anyway, follow the templates they have formulated. The real news got you down? Hey, have a Prozak. They're free!

Christianity will still be tolerated but only as long as they don’t preach that there’s anything wrong or immoral. After all, there’s really no right or wrong, only what the state says is, and what one or two people do in the privacy of their home is no one’s business - unless you are the offended person. In that case, there are still ways of taking care of such things since, after all, morality is relative and it only matters what you believe. Up can be down, black white, bad good, and people are always free to change their minds when the mood strikes them.

Terrorism? Hey, the next time we’re attacked, maybe we should just tell them, “Okay guys, now we’re even again. What can we do to make you not hate us and our way of life? You want us to wear our underwear on the outside, or on our heads? You've got it!” What? We're decadant? We have to accept your beliefs! You want all gays hung? - Uhhhhhh ... well ... maybe we should talk some more ... but put down that knife, okay?

Iraq? Okay, it seems we have a big problem with McCain here but do you seriously believe Barack or Bill - I mean Hillary- are going to want to be saddled with defeat in Iraq?

But isn’t it better to just be nice?

Maybe we should burn the Constitution too. After all, what did those old white men know? I’ll bet if you put them in front of a computer screen today they’d faint from shock. What did they know about human behavior? Ha! Freedom! Liberty! Property! Free speech! Isn’t it easier
to simply crush dissent and force the truth, as all liberals know it, upon the great unwashed? Not everyone is as wise, smart, educated and cosmopolitan as we are - yeah, the great unwashed - those who still drink their coffee black, work nine to five, believe in true love, pay in cash, say please and thank you, watch fooball, and occasionally get on their knees before God in thankfulness and humility.

Yeah, maybe I should just throw in the towel and give up. Maybe this emerging new world with its encroaching global elitism, soulless intimacy, collectivism, big lies, abolition of personal responsibility, and cradle to grave security is the way to go. Maybe I can get a bigger house, and a big screen tv, and a newer car - a hybrid, a refrigerator full of food, and a cupboard full of zero-trans-fat goodies. Maybe we could do that for everyone on Earth if we just elect more progressives. I sure don't want to give up my lifestyle, do you? Maybe the seventh century throwbacks who want to destroy us can be bought off with trinkets and free health care. Sean Penn for Vice-President? Yeah, maybe if we can’t lick ‘em we should just join ‘em.

Yeah, maybe.

***

Gray skies are gonna clear up,
Put on a happy face;
Brush off the clouds and cheer up,
Put on a happy face.
Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy,
It's not your style;
You'll look so good that you'll be glad
Ya' decide to smile!


***

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