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where was johnny when the lights went out?


C’mon guys! I know some of you are sincere in wanting to be a good steward of the environment ... but really! I have been all my life as well, and I’m guessing far more than most, but unfortunately, when it comes to this climate change thing, you’re being had!

Next week a $300 million ad campaign will go into effect to get you, and especially the children, to buy into the most expensive snake oil ever produced. Politicians, investors, energy companies, farmers, fledgling mom and pop operations and huge corporations alike, individuals and organizations with connections to government, media, and Wall Street are all jumping onto the gravy train that is slowly comin’ ’round the mountain … only you are the one who is going to get kicked in the caboose.

The big oil companies and corporations like GE aren't fighting against this scheme, you silly geese, they're leading the charge to separate you from even more of your money ... and for a fairy tale.

But that’s for another time. I’ve documented my arguments against the man-made global warming scheme numerous times, but tonight, in honor of all the people turning off their lights for an hour to save the planet, I offer my top-ten list of things to do when the lights do go out (G-rated of course), and I do recommend turning off ALL electrical units - especially your computer.

Ed's Top Ten Things To Do When the Lights go Out

1. Wash your head and then towel dry your hair (remember that?).
2. Walk alone down a dark city street whistling, “I’m Just Wild about Harry”.
3. Gore someone else’s ox.
4. Play Hide and Seek or Glow-in-the-Dark darts.
5. Tell your kids it’s the end of the world (They’ll be so relieved to hear we still have 10-12 good years left).
6. Pound sand.
7. See how many sentences you can make out of 'Albert Arnold Gore'. I get “Darn, ol’ Rob! Get real!"
8. Break out your old battery-operated radio to listen to NPR.
9. Have a contest to see who can find some fresh batteries for the radio in the dark quickest.
10. Drink your KoolAid!

Hope you have fun.

Johnny, I said we were through
Just to see what you would do
You stood there and hung your head
Made me wish that I were dead

Oh, Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had
I want a brave man, I want a cave man
Johnny, show me that you care, really care for me.




( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 30th, 2008 12:43 pm (UTC)
Mar. 30th, 2008 02:03 pm (UTC)
Oh, darn! And I was so hoping to get everyone angry! ;-)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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